Update and Such

Hooray for finally sitting down and blogging!

As said before, I was taking antidepressants. I normally blog when I am sad. So, being that I was taking those, I wasn't as sad and didn't really have anything to say. Now that I have run out of antidepressants because I'm lame and didn't make another appointment...well, I guess I've been sort of feeling it return bit by bit. Especially when I drink which I have been doing quite a bit of this summer.

At our party June 2nd, I really got down. I drank a lot. Mainly because of the "crush that never ends." I punched a wall. It hurt a bit. I tried to get a grip and get over it because sitting in my room bawling and bringing other people down wasn't how I wanted shit to go.

Bah. I have nothing really to say other than to bitch about the Clayton thing. It's so stupid, really it is. I just like him a lot and I don't know what to do with that anymore. Obviously I haven't really gotten over it or placed my affection into a more "friends" area. I don't know how to do that. It's not like I sit there and just pine for him. I just like him. That's all. I'm fully aware nothing will happen. I just need to find somebody else and just accept his awesome friendship.

Word.

Hmm. I guess work is going good. I'm kicking ass. Andi told me that Tami has been noticing my awesomeness. Oh, I'm finally getting pulled to the book floor. I don't think it is an immediate thing or permanent. They are gradually going to train me and then I'll probably work both sides. It's fine with me. I don't mind. I'd be sad to not work in the cafe at all anymore. But working the book side once in a while is cool with me.

I am enjoying the new apartment all things considered. Living with guys is a lot of fun. My summer has been this: drink, smoke, sleep, work, drink, drink, sleep, smoke, repeat. Oh, and wrestling with Clayton. Haha, it is a lot of fun. He pins me every time but it still rocks.

I joined match.com last night when I was high. I have no idea what I was thinking. I hate meeting creepy people from the internet. I don't think I'm honestly going to participate in that shit. I just joined so I could look at who is on there in my area. There is a guy I know on there who I went to Lincoln College with and who now goes to ISU. He was in my creative writing class and he wrote some scary shit about chaining girls up and beating the crap out of them. He once asked me if I wanted to go to his apartment and read poetry together. Fuck no.

Anyways, I have a ton of laundry to do considering I have not done any since I've moved here. Ew.

Comments

Phoex said…
yay for blogging sad for the sadness.
June 16, 2007 at 3:17 AM
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