Slide Off The Moon

I wish I wasn't so pathetic so I could just delete Twitter and Facebook. Fuck those damn websites. I'm so tired of trying to talk to Clayton and everybody and not getting responses. I don't understand how they talk to each other all the time and can't shoot a "hello" my way or any of that shit. Or that they don't even care to see how I am. I want people to care. I miss them and they don't care about me. I hate this feeling. I hate worrying about it and that I can't move on. Why do so many people have friends that just chat with them everyday and care and I can't seem to find them? I have a couple but I want more, honestly. I want everybody that I love to love me back the same and they DO NOT. I hate life. I do. I hate this pathetic existence, the mundane days, the race we all have for jobs and money just so we can live somewhere rather than LIVING. It doesn't make sense to me. I mean, it does, but it just seems like a waste. ...

It aches deeply that I cannot turn on a heel and run full speed back into the past. It is amazing enough that points of a life and experience can disappear completely. I can never grasp a person or a place and put them all back in order again, the same way and the same emotions near. Why can't it? Wouldn't that be nice. But would they really want to be there too? It does not seem that way. And again I am alone in this.