You Don't Mean Nothing At All

So, I started taking my generic Prozac Tuesday morning. And oddly, it felt like it instantly started working. I was, and have been in a decent mood these two days. I don't know if it is my mind playing tricks or it really working because they said I wouldn't feel it for a while. I'm voting the mind trick thing.

But alas, crying now. Mainly because I feel really, really lonely. Not depressed lonely, but romantic lonely. I feel like I will not find anybody. I've given up on Clayton. Oh, I still like him a lot, but I'm not expecting us to get together ever. I'll just settle for mucho liking as friends.

Oddly, I feel like I cannot love anybody ever fully. I feel like I will never fall completely in love again. I'm always going to be afraid of cheating, of falling out of love eventually, of hurting them. Of them not being able to let me go.

Blah. I'm just so damn lonely. I want love. I want somebody to love me again. I want the honeymoon feelings.

Sorry for having another sad blog. It's just hard to write happy. I don't know why.

Comments

Phoex said…
haha I only just now realized that photo of you was from my appt.

I don't know why that tickled me.

ANYWAY, I think we could be scary old cat ladies together. Hell with men! In the future we'll have male robots.

Anyway I hope the ol' prozac helps :D
April 29, 2007 at 6:20 PM
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