Feeling Anything?
Not really.
I thought I would be more depressed about all of this, but I think it hasn't hit me yet. I'm not really looking forward to when it does.
Perhaps it is because of an awesome phone call last night.
Krupa and I were looking up airplane tickets for our trip to Italy. While we were doing that, Stephen was IMing me and I asked him about his conversation with Andrew after Amy's party. Andrew has mentioned talking to Stephen then.
Stephen said that Andrew said we had a "thing" and that he (Andrew) couldn't figure me out. So I texted Andrew saying, "You told Stephen! Sheesh!" Andrew called me back, which I was shocked about.
He sounded really groggy, but, go figure, he was just drinking. After about two hours, I felt a hell of a lot better. He told me what he thought about it all, why he liked me, and I told him what I was thinking and why I've been quiet. Some of what he said I don't really believe. Mainly just the, "You're a beautiful girl" etc. I don't doubt he finds me attractive, but I believe only mildly. Remember, he was drunk.
He said one of the main reasons he is attracted to me is the point I am in my life. Using his words, I'm coming into my own, I'm finding out who I am, discovering where I'm going to end up, and he likes that he was there for that moment. Then he decided to give me advice...which was odd. He just kept saying over and over that I can go out now, have fun, live it up, etc. etc. I didn't really need to hear all that. It was nice of him, but I think he thinks I'm more lost then I really am. I'm aware I'm young and I still have my whole life ahead of me. I'm just nervous about it. Wherever I end up is wherever I end up.
He also told me some things I found shocking, like how when he came over to Amy's, he thought I had put it together to get him there and have my way with him. OK, I did want to make out with him, but seriously...where would that happen at? Certainly not Amy's. We had nowhere to go. He said he was frustrated because when we were alone in the kitchen, I made no move on him, or on the couch. He said he always thinks about how and where he can get me. Honestly, I do too, but I really don't want to throw myself on him in front of an audience. Especially Stephen who didn't know at that time but now does (which I'm not too thrilled about).
I told him that I was just intimidated because I've never really been with an attractive man before, like him, and I just didn't want to throw myself at him or be all over him. I also didn't want to bug him with questions about how he felt or whatever because I didn't want to make a big deal out of a couple incidents of hooking up.
Long story short, we decided just to have fun with it until it is not fun anymore, which I'm perfectly fine with. I hope we do get to talk and hang out more often. It's hard because both of us live with our ex's and neither of us have a car. So, getting together privately is rather hard.
Oh well. I'm just happy that I had a conversation with him that lasted more than ten minutes that wasn't horribly confusing.
Also, ITALY!! I'm so excited. In about a month and a week-ish, I'll be overseas and having an awesome time. We are going to visit Paris for a couple days too. PARIS! I've been wanting to go there for so very long. I think when I get there, I'm going to break down and cry. I just need to attend all my classes, do well, lose weight, etc.
Hmm...maybe I will go to Border's today and get a book on Italy/Italian. Also, I can see Andrew. This fling is indeed fun. I might as well enjoy him while he is around. Hopefully I can be myself around him more and not worry so much about saying stupid things.
Meanwhile, Christopher is hurt. I feel like such a bitch.
I thought I would be more depressed about all of this, but I think it hasn't hit me yet. I'm not really looking forward to when it does.
Perhaps it is because of an awesome phone call last night.
Krupa and I were looking up airplane tickets for our trip to Italy. While we were doing that, Stephen was IMing me and I asked him about his conversation with Andrew after Amy's party. Andrew has mentioned talking to Stephen then.
Stephen said that Andrew said we had a "thing" and that he (Andrew) couldn't figure me out. So I texted Andrew saying, "You told Stephen! Sheesh!" Andrew called me back, which I was shocked about.
He sounded really groggy, but, go figure, he was just drinking. After about two hours, I felt a hell of a lot better. He told me what he thought about it all, why he liked me, and I told him what I was thinking and why I've been quiet. Some of what he said I don't really believe. Mainly just the, "You're a beautiful girl" etc. I don't doubt he finds me attractive, but I believe only mildly. Remember, he was drunk.
He said one of the main reasons he is attracted to me is the point I am in my life. Using his words, I'm coming into my own, I'm finding out who I am, discovering where I'm going to end up, and he likes that he was there for that moment. Then he decided to give me advice...which was odd. He just kept saying over and over that I can go out now, have fun, live it up, etc. etc. I didn't really need to hear all that. It was nice of him, but I think he thinks I'm more lost then I really am. I'm aware I'm young and I still have my whole life ahead of me. I'm just nervous about it. Wherever I end up is wherever I end up.
He also told me some things I found shocking, like how when he came over to Amy's, he thought I had put it together to get him there and have my way with him. OK, I did want to make out with him, but seriously...where would that happen at? Certainly not Amy's. We had nowhere to go. He said he was frustrated because when we were alone in the kitchen, I made no move on him, or on the couch. He said he always thinks about how and where he can get me. Honestly, I do too, but I really don't want to throw myself on him in front of an audience. Especially Stephen who didn't know at that time but now does (which I'm not too thrilled about).
I told him that I was just intimidated because I've never really been with an attractive man before, like him, and I just didn't want to throw myself at him or be all over him. I also didn't want to bug him with questions about how he felt or whatever because I didn't want to make a big deal out of a couple incidents of hooking up.
Long story short, we decided just to have fun with it until it is not fun anymore, which I'm perfectly fine with. I hope we do get to talk and hang out more often. It's hard because both of us live with our ex's and neither of us have a car. So, getting together privately is rather hard.
Oh well. I'm just happy that I had a conversation with him that lasted more than ten minutes that wasn't horribly confusing.
Also, ITALY!! I'm so excited. In about a month and a week-ish, I'll be overseas and having an awesome time. We are going to visit Paris for a couple days too. PARIS! I've been wanting to go there for so very long. I think when I get there, I'm going to break down and cry. I just need to attend all my classes, do well, lose weight, etc.
Hmm...maybe I will go to Border's today and get a book on Italy/Italian. Also, I can see Andrew. This fling is indeed fun. I might as well enjoy him while he is around. Hopefully I can be myself around him more and not worry so much about saying stupid things.
Meanwhile, Christopher is hurt. I feel like such a bitch.
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