Cold

I skipped all of my classes today. I just got up and thought of everything being pointless. Why go to class? Why go to work? Is any of this crap even worth it?

How could I be treating Christopher like this after everything...after being in love with him not so long ago. How can a person fall out of love so fast? It's because of HIM.

Ever since flirting at work, gossip of him possibly liking me (and me not believing that, of course), I was hooked. Like, I didn't like him, and I'm still not hooked because of my own personal insecurities. I mean, he is a good looking man. But I knew if he ever pushed it, or ever wanted to do anything, I would. I didn't care if he was my boss (one of them, anyways).

And so, we hooked up, a couple times. I wasn't going to say no. And now, I fucked up everything with Christopher. I fucked up things with him because of Andrew. I mean, it is a fun fling, but seriously, nothing will become of it, which I'm aware of and fine with. I guess it wasn't meant to be with Christopher in the long run anyways.

So now it is going to be awkward around the apartment. I don't know what to say or do if I bump into him. Now I'm going to do horrible this semester because of my depression or whatever.

I hate life. I really do.

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