Used, Ditched, Forgotten

I feel like repeating myself! Warning, this may contain text that has been previously repeated:

I hate people. I hate being used. I don't even think I can explain. Just...fuck Gunnar, fuck men, fuck being lonely and only being a piece of ass to people when nobody can even look at me and think of me as relationship material. I'm sick of not being enough. I hate stupid friends too who don't even care about me anymore and ditch me and talk shit about me. I just want for once for somebody to actually like me and be there for me, not ditch me, not treat me like shit or ignore me. I never get anybody I can trust or any friends that last more than a couple years or a relationship that works out. I hate always wanting to kill myself because I seriously think there is nothing at all in my future.

I'm probably just going to cry myself to sleep because if I stay up I'll just be miserable and hurt myself.

I really, really hope I get good at this closing people off thing. I want to be cold inside. I want to ooze hatred. I want to lose EVERYBODY so I don't have to worry about when they will leave me too. I want to fucking hurt people. I hate the human race. I hate these betraying bastards with their fucking stupid vanity and arrogance and cold treatment. If they can bat me around, then I can too. So fuck everybody.

Wow. Now that I'll have nobody left, what do I have to live for?

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