Friends are...

the people who get closest to you but burn you the hardest and the fastest. They are the element we need in our lives but the ones who can ruin your life. I don't know what the hell I'm trying to say. Just that I'm tired of them. I need affection. I feel like I never properly was loved by anybody throughout my entire life. Nobody liked to say "I love you" in my family. My mom never reached out to me, my dad was always in pain, angry, and frustrated, my siblings always fought, my immediate family avoided us all together, and my friends were always fighting and I had none when I left high school. At Lincoln, I thought I finally found what real friends were. Do I talk to any of them now? No. Krupa ended up just being a person who used me and disregarded my feelings. I really felt like I finally found friends via Clayton and people I met through him and Border's. But now that I'm leaving, I feel like none of them give a shit. If they do, they don't show it and that is a mistake. I'm going to be gone before they know it, but they don't. They still don't really invite me out for things, they...damn it, I don't know. It is just a vibe I get. I feel like they know I'm leaving, but it's as if I'm telling them I'm going to go get milk at the store. "Oh, ok. Cool. Have fun." It's like, I'm serious. I will not see you people for quite some time. Something could happen and I could NEVER see you again. I have so much love and affection and sincerity...will anybody ever return it to me?

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